Pushing Past Fear in Business
This fall, I had to do a lot to face my fears head-on with two speaking gigs. I am happy to report that being on the other side of it, everything went really well! I am still astounded by the people I had the chance to meet, and I look forward to seeing how these new relationships blossom over the coming months and years.
Now that it's the beginning of November, I checked back in with my Year Ahead Spread to reflect on what might be coming up for me this month.
My card for November: Three of Swords
This is one of the more distressing cards in the tarot in that it represents heartbreak, betrayal, and typically that a loss or discovering a hard truth is imminent. However, as you'll see how it's beautifully depicted in the Fountain Tarot, there is a small reflection of a rainbow on the right side of the heart. That to me shows a hint of optimism, a tiny glimmer of hope, that a valuable lesson is to be learned from going through this experience, and I'll be better because of it.
Entrepreneurship is not easy. We have to learn a lot about ourselves, as we develop our businesses. We have to plan as best we can, and learn to roll with the punches. We have to give it our all, and not take things personally. We have to put our work out into the world for all to see, and remind ourselves constantly that our work does not define us. We have to open ourselves up to risk, and trust that we will find sure footing.
I'm convinced that the fear never goes away; we simply have to learn how to manage it better.
And that's exactly what I'm trying to do.
Setting unreal expectations has always been a struggle for me, and I think it's a common struggle for many of us who seek to create the change we want to see in the world. In my experience, having such high expectations leads to a lot of disappointment, which can make getting motivated to keep going nearly impossible.
I've been catching myself a lot lately in this mindset of feeling less than and lacking, yet if I were to pull myself out of focus and view the current circumstance from a 10,000-foot view, I would see how all the dots have connected themselves even when I couldn't see it in the moment. Thinking about each circumstance as a piece of a larger puzzle, has helped me to detach from the idea that this one hiccup is a final blow.
The most recent revelation I had when I sat with the question, "Will it be enough?" and felt the response radiate up from my heart center, "It already is."
It is too easy in today's world to compare ourselves with quite literally anyone else. That information overload leaves us feeling depleted, and often unworthy. What I'm having to remind myself over and over again, is that just because my approach is different, it doesn't mean that it is wrong or bad. And this card confirms that for me. If I can remove the notion that pain is negative or bad, then I take it for what it is at face value, a lesson from which I can learn. If I can accept the fact that my approach may be different, but it is not wrong, then there is comfort and confidence in that discovery.
Having a clearly defined WHY has helped me immensely, as I struggle with some of these doubts and fears. When I sit with myself and truly examine my fears or feelings of inadequacy through the lens of My Why, I can see the root cause of these feelings, and it helps to put distance in between us. My Why gives me courage to keep moving forward in the direction that is most aligned with my True Self.
Everyone is beautifully unique, but if you're curious here are ways that I'm actively working towards gaining perspective around the tough lessons coming my way:
- Taking the time to journal. I am an internal processor, and it helps me immensely when I can put my thoughts down on paper. I keep a daily gratitude journal, as well as a written planner, and every now and then it helps put everything into perspective when I can review the past few months. I can see the dates when I met people and how that relationship has blossomed in the weeks and months since our first meeting. I remember how giddy I was to receive an inquiry from a particular client, and feel immense gratitude to be in the final weeks of our engagement.
- Reading all the fiction! As I think many of us do, we tend to only read non-fiction that's related to personal or professional development. And while I truly love learning, and non-fiction is typically my genre of choice, there is something so refreshing my getting lost in another world. I've been swapping hours of mindless TV watching with hours of enthralled reading, and I'm shocked by all of the positive side effects: I'm sleeping better, it gives me immense gratitude for my life, and it's an activity that feels truly restorative for me.
- Moving my body. There is nothing quite like getting myself to a yoga class to make me feel more at peace. Maybe it's because I grew up dancing, but I love being in a room with others. Now, I enjoy practicing with a room full of other bodies because it's the truest test for me to keep my eyes on my own mat and do what feels best for me. I have to actively remove myself from placing any judgment on myself or my neighbors for what I may or may not be able to do, and what they may or may not be able to do. It's the greatest lesson for me to listen to what I need, and give my body exactly that.
- Removing distractions (and distracting people). In a similar vein of keeping my eyes on my road, I'm learning to find ways to remove distractions so that I don't get caught up in the social media rat race or nasty comparison trap. I now have my phone and computer set to Do Not Disturb from 8am-2pm so that I don't receive text messages or any other notifications until I choose to take a look. I've done a social media detox and unfollowed people I no longer wish to see, and even muted a few Instagram stories from people that always seem to put me in a funk.
- And the hardest one of all, letting go of my limiting self beliefs. Slowly, but surely, I'm learning ways to do this for myself. It's been a combined effort between working with my therapist and my coach, but I know that what will ultimately crush any fears I have is standing firmly rooted in my beliefs and feeling confident in stating my truth. There are years of self-doubt that I'm learning to re-wire in my brain, but I am confident that with continued self-exploration and facing my fears, I will learn to trust that the leap is never as scary as the anticipation just before taking the first step.
So here's to facing our fears, learning from the hard lessons we will inevitably face, and getting back up again each time to do what we love. How are you taking time to support yourself as you face your fears? And how can I support you as you do? Let me know in the comments below or feel free to email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you're ready to build a marketing plan that feels good and is in alignment with your core values, then I would really love to work with you to help you get there. This is at the heart of the Own Your Why® methodology, and I have a few different ways in which we can work together. Take a look at my services to see which one might be the best fit for you, or join me for an upcoming Own Your Why®: Workshop.
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