Entrepreneurship is Confronting AF
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I seem to be having this conversation a lot lately: entrepreneurship has this way of forcing us to confront our biggest insecurities, over and over and over.
Whether you are just getting started and feeling into the reality of what it’s going to take to make your idea a viable business, or if you’ve been in it for a few years and are facing new obstacles, it seems like we keep having to meet ourselves at unexpected growth edges.
I still vividly remember when I was designing my first site with the web designer; I was adamant that I would not need a blog because I could not fathom myself writing. My designer tried to encourage me otherwise, but I was so caught up in my fear and insecurities, that I couldn’t properly listen to what she was saying. I just wanted to support others in building their business and brand. I knew what I could do, and I was happy to be that back-of-house support person. I could not understand why I would need a blog, and with time I came to understand that it was largely a block for me being terrified to use my voice, and ultimately to be seen.
Eventually, I learned that my saying no to writing was in fact stemming from a fear-filled space, so I wanted to explore how to show up in a way that stretched me outside what felt comfortable, helped me to find my voice, and did so in a way (and at a pace!) that felt doable for me. So a lot of it started with Instagram. For some reason that felt more approachable to me. Perhaps because it felt like the shelf life was shorter than a blog. A blog still felt so permanent (even though I now feel differently) that was a block for me for a long time.
How entrepreneurship brings our insecurities to the surface
This seems to be the biggest obstacle for many of the entrepreneurs I work with. It manifests in various ways, but ultimately, that fear of being seen is at the heart of it.
And entrepreneurship has a unique way of bringing this fear out that you may not experience as often in traditional employment.
When you are traditionally employed, there is one main interview process, and then you are hired. Yes, you may have an initial probationary period in which you are still needing to “prove” yourself, but that experience of having to make a genuine connection from a short encounter only happens (typically) when you are changing companies.
But as an entrepreneur, you are effectively interviewing each time you speak with a potential client. That was particularly alarming for me at first—the fact that I was having to get used to speaking to my strengths and showcasing my abilities on the regular.
When you are hired as an employee, there is a job description you are following, which is written by someone else. In entrepreneurship, you’re the one having to write your own job description. This can be challenging for service-based providers because the line of what constitutes your services versus you can be very blurred. If you are not well boundaried, it’s very easy to slip into overgiving, which frequently breeds resentment, and it also begins this nasty cycle of inadvertently mixing up your worth and your work.
This is merely one example, but a common one it would seem, and this is what I mean by entrepreneurship being so confronting. It brings up a lot of uncomfortable insecurities that for those of us who choose to continue on this path, we must also choose to face them directly and repeatedly.
So then… how do we cope with the confrontation?
Like all artists, entrepreneurship is a creative act and there is a vulnerability in sharing so openly. It takes courage to continue to do so.
So how can we meet this challenge and learn to get a little more comfortable with running into those fears, again and again?
I believe that entrepreneurship requires an immense amount of permission-giving and loads of self-compassion mixed with ample time for reflection. This might mean simply noticing when you feel that discomfort and being kind to yourself rather than beating yourself up for being afraid or not being able to “do it.” It could mean sitting with those fears you’re feeling and exploring them in meditation or in your journal.
When you get a clear look at what’s driving those fears, you can then acknowledge those fears and find your next step.
What action feels like it could expand your comfort zone, even the slightest bit?
I often think of this like sticking a pinky toe outside the boundaries of my own comfort zone. What's that next right step, that pinky-toe-outside-the-line move that stretches me while also not blatantly ignoring my nervous system? (Like how I started writing on Instagram instead of jumping straight into a blog before I felt ready.)
These are the keys to sustainability and without them, it’s easy to feel paralyzed by what we perceive to be constant pressure and exposure to levels of vulnerabilities we may not feel ready to confront.
It’s okay to bump up against those fears. This is just what entrepreneurship does, and it’s part of the process. It’s okay to start with preexisting frameworks and notice what isn’t working for you, or what you’re not ready for, and create your own system from there.
It’s also okay (and necessary) to adjust your approach as needed and honor your needs every step of the way.
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Photo credit: Creating Light Studio